I burned like 3/4 of my forearm on the oven while I was making chicken and my mom was like “honey put some butter on it it draws the heat out” so she was rubbing a stick of butter on my arm and my stepdad was like “what’s for dinner” as he walked in and saw her slathering my arm in butter and he just slowly backed away
4:58 am • 21 April 2014 • 186,328 notes
Shout out to all the lucky gals that feel nothing when they’re on their periods while I feel like a fully grown dinosaur on a motorbike is trying to pop a wheelie right out of my vagoo.
4:31 am • 21 April 2014 • 82,237 notes
my school is literally doing a fundraiser where they play what does the fox say between classes until we raise $1000
My school did this and students tried to start an revolution to overthrow student council because they believed that their methods were unethical and a form of dictatorial torture
3:09 am • 21 April 2014 • 243,333 notes
One piece is fucking stupid
IT’S IRRITATING TO WATCH IT’S LIKE BEING IN A ROOM WITH THAT ONE SIDE OF TUMBLR THAT GETS OFFENDED OVER EVERYTHING YOU SAY AND STARTS A FIGHT.
OH MY GOD
HAVE YOU ONLY WATCHED THE FIRST PART?
CUZ THE FIRST COUPLE OF STORY ARCS I WILL ADMIT ARE TOTALLY SHIT
BUT THEN IT GETS REALLY GOOD
NO TOONAMI DECIDED TO START IT LIKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING SERIES FOR SOME REASON SO I’M WAY THE FUCK IN IT’S SUPER ANNOYING
THATS STUPID AS HELL WHAT THE HECK YOU CANT JUST SKIP INTO THE MIDDLE THATS DUMB
I know and I used to watch it when I was younger so I know how most of the people ended up there but I’ve literally never fucking seen robin before so she’s confusing and I can’t imagine how first-time watchers are supposed to feel about everybody else.
THAT MAKES ME SO ANGRY
2:53 am • 21 April 2014 • 11 notes
i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police
2:42 am • 21 April 2014 • 273,497 notes
Remember there was almost another twilight book but someone leaked it so Stephanie Meyer refused to finish and I’m 98% sure it was Robert Pattinson and god bless him
2:37 am • 21 April 2014 • 53,213 notes
do action movies know they can have more than one female character
2:15 am • 21 April 2014 • 117,347 notes
this might be my favorite post on tumblr ever
THAT FUCKING FACE
This is my favourite thing ever
(Source: sexyyuglyy, via rysnovem)
1:21 am • 21 April 2014 • 464,655 notes
“For three weekends, 47 Dachshunds, more commonly known as Sausage Dogs, will attempt to solve the world’s Human Rights issues.”
this was so fucking important
"And they still accomplished more than the actual U.N."
12:54 am • 21 April 2014 • 86,708 notes
grandmoms are precious and must be protected at all costs
i told her i was posting this on tumblr and she said “let me know how many hits i get!!!” so just watch this and make an old woman happy
(Source: arin-hans0n, via rysnovem)
12:27 am • 21 April 2014 • 93,845 notes
STARRING: A MODERATELY ATTRACTIVE WHITE ACTOR, ANOTHER MODERATELY ATTRACTIVE WHITE ACTOR, AND SOME BACKGROUND LADIES I GUESS
(Source: still-sophistory, via capricorn-prince)
10:33 pm • 20 April 2014 • 67,991 notes